By Mary Jane Walsh


An increase in self confidence can increase your attractibility, positive feelings about yourself, influence over your children, friends and partners, and your ability to earn. 


There are a few big ways that we can focus our energy to increase levels of self confidence. Many of these strategies involve trying out new behaviors, which may give a person a level of discomfort. Rest assured that the discomfort goes away as soon as our bodies and psychologies adapt to the new behaviors and become comfortable in the new environment.


Here are some activities that I always suggest to clients to begin raising their levels of self confidence. 


1. Go Out Alone.

Many clients I have are scared to sit at a bar, go to a restaurant or attend a movie alone. When I ask what the reason is behind this fear the answer is usually that they will truly feel alone and unlovable, or that someone will see them and they will feel “pathetic.”

But here’s the kicker: Being able to take yourself out on a date, and not be reliant on someone else for comfort, entertainment or connection is HIGHLY confidence boosting. At first, the act might feel uncomfortable or scary, but after a few outings, it often feels liberating to be reliant on no one but YOU for your social needs. There is always the opportunity to meet a new acquaintance, or a see a movie that really appeals to you.


2. Get Adventurous (and push yourself!)

Planning a trip for 2017? Why not try something that pushes your comfort boundaries?

  • Solo roadtrip to a new city?
  • Glamping with friends?
  • International destination that you’ve been craving to visit for years?
  • Hiking adventure?… What about going to a Yurt in 20 degree weather?

The trips and adventures that require new ways of thinking and resourcefulness increase our levels of confidence by strengthening our own ability to rely on ourselves and experience new terrain.


3. Become Declarative (and VISIBLE) in Your Communitiy about WHO YOU REALLY ARE!

Through the myriad avenues of social media, people can now express their interests, causes they support, needs for community, their personal brand, their budding business, etc etc.

Becoming VISIBLE through these platforms can be terrifying to some, especially if privacy is preferred or shyness holds you back. Pushing yourself to be visible with these expressions can serve to create a support community that bolsters your vision and allows people to truly see you.


4. Follow Your Passion.

Finally deciding to go forward with your passion (whatever that may be) is a BIG confidence booster. So often people I come into contact with have pushed their own skills and passions to the back burner, opting instead for the pay check work (which I totally understand) and then all of the other distractions in life that can, if unchecked, take up every last morsel of space and time. This is true for many of my clients who have kids.


But, failing to nurture your own gifts and passions can leave you feeling purposeless, depressed and enervated. Just 10 minutes a day (or an appopriate small equivalent) of energy, creativity and excitement flowing to your passion can get the ball rolling and create feelings of joy, peace, purpose and energy.



This is perhaps one of my own personal favorites. Personal growth makes me feel great. Whatever form this takes: finding a new book at that book shop while on vacation; committing to an action group or mastermind that meets monthly to support your goals; hiring a coach to build in accountability and goals into your life; re-committing to a healthy and energizing eating regimen for 30 days.


These are just some of the ways we can raise our self confidence in 2017.



Very Best,

Mary Jane Walsh